How to simply build habits.

Here we go. Another self-proclaimed blogger goes on to write on the topic of personal development and success in life. And on a topic that already in the title raises doubts. Words like simply and habits of experience do not belong together. After all, we all know the feeling of making resolutions on New Year’s Eve. And just like many similar cries in the dark ( and sometimes literally), these goals ended after 2 days. In the better cases, after one week.

Why is it so? Why is it that those good habits, which we know would bring so much good into our lives, have such a hard time anchoring themselves in our daily routine, while habits that are OBVIOUSLY going to bring nothing but inconvenience into our lives, we spiritually justify and repeat all the more on a daily basis.

At this stage it may be good to stop and think for a moment. What habits I already have at this point. Whether good, like always washing the dishes after dinner or making the bed right after waking up? Or the bad ones, which can include settling down in front of the TV every night or scrolling endlessly on social media. How did they actually come into being? By themselves, definitely not.

I’m just like that already!

A properly anchored habit is already operating at the subconscious level, and the conscious mind is often not involved at all.

If we were to consciously judge and analyze our every move, we would be completely exhausted. It is because evolutionarily we have developed consciousness on one side and subconsciousness on the other.

Many publications and articles could be written on this subject (and that they have been written). But what’s important to remember for habit building is that every habit, good or bad, starts at a conscious level. At that moment, new neural connections begin to form in the brain along which information travels. The longer the action is repeated the stronger the connections become. The moment this connection is sufficiently anchored and solid, information flows through it without restriction and automatically. In that moment, the habit has anchored itself in the subconscious mind, which takes over the function of conscious decision-making and simply takes the next step.

Can this be explained in practice?

We can see this very nicely in the creation of the habit of driving. Beginnings are sometimes so difficult that we cannot consciously take in all the activities we have to do.

Often the driver has to have someone holding the wheel as they look at the steering wheel and think hard about their next move. Maybe you too know the types of people who have to turn down the radio when they’re driving because it bothers them when they’re concentrating. I’ve had this happen to me myself when I’ve gone to a city I’ve never been to. In this case, it is easy to see who has the habit anchored perfectly and settled in the subconscious, and who still needs to strengthen this neural connection more.

 

Okay, I already know this, or at least it’s obvious. But how do we build a new habit as mentioned in the title. First of all, we need to understand what a habit consists of. For clarity, I will describe this in bullet points.

1. Suggestion
2. Desire
3. Response
4. Reward

So what should I focus on ? Incentive or Habit ?

The first step is the stimulus. If we know that good habits or bad habits are anchored to some stimulus, we do not have to focus on the habit itself, but rather on the stimulus that precedes it.

Therefore, if you have a habit of always coming and sitting in front of the TV after work, for example, it is very likely that it is very easy for you, the TV is placed or hung in a very visible place in the apartment and your reward will be to finally switch off after a whole day at work.

We need to remember that the more noticeable the stimulus, the easier it is to perform the activity and the easier it is to repeat it. This is the first step to building a habit. Alternatively, the first step to focus on if we want to get rid of the habit.

Your boss wants you to report every day what you did that day. You say to yourself “okay so just before I turn off the computer I’ll write it down”. But you only realise you haven’t done anything when you leave the company.

But what if we create such an incentive. This is where creativity comes in. You can write on your screensaver in big letters “DON’T FORGET TO MAKE A JOB !!! ” which will light up whenever you turn off programs and you’re left with just the main desktop. Or stick a bold message on the edge of your screen.

And that’s it?!

So now I know how to build habits easily? Certainly not. But you know the first step to get started. And if you’ve read this far (which according to the stats is 20%) then congratulations.